EVERY NOW AND THEN*I KNOW

Ive not been working at the service much these past two weeks, having been fortunate enough to access some really excellent external training. Some of this has been quite inspiring, especially another Recovery day held by a man I have a great deal of admiration for, as very often speakers include those who have managed to recapture a quality of life and find their voices again, in situations that would appear to go against the odds. His work is evolved from his own personal experience, perhaps the best qualification anyone could have. This is a link to his site for his own personal story. http://www.roncolemanvoices.co.uk/TheRonColemanStory/tabid/53/Default.aspx. Its quite amazing how he has managed to turn his life around and go on to enable others to do the same.

This course was funded by the Scottish Recovery Network which is doing some excellent work in some areas of Scotland to change the language surrounding Mental Illness and challenge and hopefully move attitudes forward to a more positive place to work from, for example, most people will experience long periods of wellness, yet get caught up in a system that tends to focus on the illness or the label and diagnosis, signs and symptoms and do little to encourage finding ways other than medication of finding coping strategies to deal with and support them through crisis, and still value themselves, without writing people off, with this is how it will always be.

The majority of the people I work with see their psychiatrist, if lucky, once every 3 months for 15 minutes of what I often feel is a token gesture, a formality, jobs done. Yet some of those I work with are capable of so much more and deserve more.

Yesterday I went on Path training, this was lots of fun, and is a tool I had already used with successful outcomes with someone I work with. It starts with big, big dreams and allowing yourself the opportunity to explore those, as very often within those big dreams there is something that when broken down is very achievable in the here and now. At times these little steps have enabled people to come close to realising something that has come close to their big dream and improved their quality of life and confidence in their own capabilities.

http://www.communityworks.info/pathcf.htm

I of course worked with my big dream of going to Africa and going  through the process,I realised so much more I want to achieve and those important people who are included in those dreams who will support me along the way. The little steps I need to take today, where I see myself in a years time and then in two years time. As Ive said before, life can so often get in the way, it can be difficult to focus on keeping our dreams alive to bring them to fruition. Thats when I find myself not giving up and repeating those lines I read in a book written by Primo Levi many years ago. “If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?”

Perhaps in all of this is the profound knowledge that we are all interconnected, I struggle daily with my job description, Supporting people to Independence, and so often have to break the rules, the policies and procedures in order just to be a real human being to those I work alongside, and hearing from the horses mouth at a recent conference, that it was the worker who was willing to break the rules, who enabled him to make the journey to wellness, well!! thats all I need to know

This video is very symbolic for me, times I am part of the tower, times the child who has lost his football, perhaps shot too far, but as long as there are shoulders of giants to help me recover………………….Dont know what health and safety policy would say about whats going on here though, but does it really matter????

FORCA..

 For after all, the best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.

 Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

I turn my face to the rain gently falling

and feel its caress, as if that of a wise friend 

Sweetly,softly whispering

Rest my love, no need for struggle

Rest,

Come, rest your heart

Animation from Glitter graphics

This was taken on that frozen pond where the ducks were loosing their web footing and making those dramatic landings shooting across the frozen water with little grace and aplomb……unlike the two swans also resident on the pond, who were very graceful and dignified.

Im sitting here thinking thats much like life at times, its so easy to become like the ducks and lose that sense of balance, rushing around, losing footing…..Wouldnt life be great if we could glide through as gracefully and serenely as the swan, but life has other plans for us humans at times, not always ones we would choose as we all know.

Since my weekend off, Ive attended training on Mental Health First Aid on Thursday and today attended a conference run by the Scottish Recovery Network on the concept of recovery.  This has been placed high on the agenda by the Scottish Executive in order to promote an new way of providing meaningful services to promote mental wellbeing.  This is so challenging as it means a whole shift in attitudes and perceptions and ways of approaching and working to support people find their own path to recovery and not some proscribed path, chosen on their behalf.

I feel drained, inspired after hearing first hand so many recovery stories today, told in the most simple ways, raw and honest, challenging, yet as I say inspiring.  After lunch the session was begun by a stand up comedian, who had us all in stitches, a man who could barely raise his head to face the world less than a year ago, I saw painters, poets and great photographers, people who found validity through the power of creativity and self expression, art as a medium, productive and giving..

Most of these people would at one point have been seen, seen themselves as lame ducks perhaps, yet amid their struggle, their journeys, one discovers there is as much beauty in a duck finding its footing as their is in the swan that glides gracefully.

Do you notice that duck on the far left, legs splayed, hardly graceful, but like many of the people who told their story today he too found his feet again.  What really struck home today was that many of the people who spoke, still suffered many of the symtoms that can cause mental distress, often what their diagnosis is based on and the attached labels, but the resounding message…..’ I am more than just a package of symptoms, I am a human being who can work alongside, bear, overcome and still produce and contribute something worthwhile, valuable and meaningful to this thing we call life, mine and yours. 

 An excerpt from an article by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D

When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be 
no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of  

 stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our 
reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another 
soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will 
help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by 
whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. 
What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, 
adding, adding to, adding more, continuing.

 Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D

This is written by one of my favourite writers, authoress of Women Who Run With The Wolves, a book that made me think deeply and had a huge impact on how I saw myself at one point in my life, she is very gifted and I make space for her on my blog tonight. 

 The hotels booked!!!! Just over the border in a place called Shap which is close enough to all the Lakes Alan and I would like to walk around and explore, I am just soooooooo excited, in some ways its a bit like going home, to my second home, if that makes sense… Must remember batteries for the camera…. ONLY SIX MORE DAYS!!!!!! Whoopee!!!!

One of my favourite Stevie Wonder tracks too from way back, still on track for my own special place in the sun, not forgotten

Looking through the album tonight so I thought it would be nice to share some pictures. The first was taken by my son Joe at Tetson Lake, when he was on a trip to Wyoming last year, he stayed three months, enjoying every minute and always sent back pics so we could share his adventure.

The second was taken at dusk up in the Shetland Isle far North tip of Britain, just loved the old viking boat, the Nordic influence. 

Third The River Seine, I visited Paris some 15 years ago and enjoyed the trip up the Seine on the Baton Rouge, Looking forward to going with Alan one day, this is a city he must see.

Last one is Loch Muick, which is relatively near hand, this is where Prince Charles sits and fishes and where he wrote his childrens books the Old man of  Lochnagar.

 Finally for Analia, as promised one of my sketches, this one was copied from Kalhil Gibrans THE PROPHET.  Find it so absorbing just to sit and doodle away, and dance and sing not that I can and not all at the same time.

Im thinking tonight of the man of the road I met so many years ago, Im smiling, Im also thinking about my own life, its many ups and downs, ‘the rutted road’, Im still smiling, Ive thought about the bad in this world preying on the innocent and vulnerable, I refuse to smile to turn away, and I balance that with the good and positive abundance of yesterday, today and hopefully tommorrow, for Im lost without it.

Taking my thoughts and dreams to bed now may the spirits of hope, faith and charity come and refresh my soul so I appreciate the wonders of each and every day, and yours too