From here to ??

Coming soon to a screen near you (PERHAPS)

My original blog I set up at blog.com this will soon join the many, many seemingly abandoned blogs on that site, and here I am in transition… 

http://audrey-forca.blogspot.com/

Today I had reason to turn the tables on myself. I tried to imagine how my children will feel when I take off on my travel to Africa. Ive always been there, just a call away, they have always known how to reach me, where to reach me, and if I felt it necessary and urgent I would drop things to be there and present for them. Thats how its meant to be, sometimes not easy but at the end of the day, that simple.

Patrick leaves on Wednesday, I feel a mixture of pride, pleasure and shared excitement for him.  He, as he said he would, is travelling opting for Venuezela, Caracas and backpacking down to Brazil. 

S**t , that was the first thought that entered my head,I asked if he didnt fancy a month just relaxing on a beach in Spain,  but having already explored a few options with him, I knew this was of no interest to him.  His choices were limited due to not being able to acquire necessary Visa’s for his first choices  at the last minute. So hes off, not really prepared I feel, or am I just a mother…lol

I perhaps shouldnt have shown him my travel brochures from i to i who arrange overseas placements nor told him about STA travel who arrange student travel, but I did and now Im nagging or at least thats how it feels..Have you got this, have you got that, promise you will keep contact every couple of days etc etc etc.

I think my main issue or concern is that he is travelling alone, but Im sure he will be fine.. 

There now Ive got that off my chest I can shut up, it has however made me realise the importance of little things, informed risk taking, the importance of preparation and keeping contact with those sitting at home wondering if you are ok,  I may just slip a few little reminders in his Calvin Kleins ***RING YOUR MOTHER***  CALL HOME OR ELSE!!!  any suggestions welcome..

Patrick wants to see Angel falls which is apparently the highest waterfall in the world, and having found it on Youtube I can fully understand why, its absolutely astounding, now I wish I were going with him and that this blogsite would allow me embed from Youtube, but sadly it doesnt.

Well its been almost, but not quite a week since Pats arrival home, safe and sound, I could relax…PHEW!!! thought I.

Having said that he has just this evening arrived back from a cousins wedding in Ireland… Well to be factual it was a wedding reception without the wedding as the bride called off 3 days prior to the actual day of the union..I have to add I admire her for making a very brave decision, but also acknowledge it will have caused a great deal of heartache and problems for both families. 

Anyway the reception went ahead for  the grooms family which is enormous, Pats father is one of 15 children and all the accompanying children can make for quite a gathering.

A good time was had by all despite the cancellation, and Patrick enjoyed his weekend away.  Today it was he who was making his way down the stairs, me the one coming through the door having just finished work.  ‘Was that a limp’ thought I….or has the dog done a doo doo on the carpet, not that she does, but one never knows….

Sure enough it was a limp, he told me he had hurt his leg fooling around,the I banged into a door story ( good as any ) then procedes to show me his leg, ( its the first time Ive seen his legs in years I think).  To my shock and horror his left knee is swollen to the size of a balloon, he can neither straighten nor bend it. so tommorrow I take the wounded soldier up to casualty..

Thats life………..LOL

A little food for the spirit and a gentle pat on the back, just because you are woman…a little celebration

“Women have a way of treating people more softly.  We treat souls with kid gloves”….Shirley Caesar.

“ I say if its going to be done, let’s do it. Let’s not put it in the hands of fate. Let’s not put it in the hands of someone who doesn’t know me. I know me best. Then take a breath and go ahead……….Anita Baker

Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They’re what make the instrument stretch- what make you go beyond the norm…   Cicely Tyson

The cock croweth but the hen delivereth the goods…anonymous

“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat”……Rebecca West. (1892 - 1983)

Supposing  you have tried and failed again and again.  You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘ failure ‘ is not the falling down, but the staying down…..Mary Pickford

If I had to live my life over again, I’d dare to make more mistakes next time……Nadine Star

It occured to me when I was thirteen and wearing white gloves and Mary Janes and going to dancing school, that no one should have to dance backward all their lives……..Jill Ruckelshaus.

Once you live with the issue of women and the landscape for a while, you find that you cannot separate them form the notions of peace, spirituality and community.  As women we must learn to become leaders in society, not just for our own sake, but for the sake of all people.  We must support and protect our kinship with the environment for the generations to come….China Galland

” Ive got the woman’s ability to stick to a job and get on with it when everyone else walks off and leaves it”……Margaret Thatcher.

The genius of women I believe to be electrical in movement, intuitive in function , spiritual in tendency……Margaret Fuller….(1810- 1850)

“Women are repeatedly accused of taking things personally. I cannot see any other honest way of taking them”….MARYA MANNES b 1904

They talk about a woman’s sphere as though it had a limit;

There’s not a place in earth or heaven,

There’s not a task to mankind given,

There’s not a blessing or a woe,

There’s not a whispered ‘yes’ or ‘no’,

There’s not a life ,or death, or birth,

That has a feather’s weight of worth

Without a woman in it.

Above all , remember the most important thing you can take anywhere is not the Gucci handbag or the French cut jeans; its an open mind…………………..Gail Ruben Bereny

Thanks George…great song

FORCA

I hadnt realised how easy it is to see war through eyes that see only weapons and destruction, my eyes these past 3 months if I am honest. Today my minds eye was stretched beyond this to the everyday lives of the people, men,women and children, not unlike myself.

Ordinary people sending their children to school, cooking doing their best to live life as normally as possible when their country has been invaded, as I cannot remember the Iraqi people asking for American nor British assistance or intervention

Joe being the chef in the family cooked tonight, Roast lamb, dressed with garlic and rosemary, new and roast potatoes, broccoli and the most delicious gravy I have ever tasted, beating his mothers by a mile.  I was asking Patrick what types of meat he had eaten during his tour and he mentioned trying goat, then went on to speak about the meals he often shared with the people of Iraq. 

He told me that when he was on border patrol, during stopovers in the villages, the troops would  be invited to share a meal, offered by the families.  All sat round on the floor eating chicken, rice etc from a big bowl placed in the centre.  Hospitality that I find so moving.  He added that this would often mean an upset tummy for a few days as it also meant drinking the local water instead of the bottled water he got on camp.

I have visions of a woman, with a heart not so different to my own, preparing the food that my son enjoyed, an act of friendship, communion that overcomes all language barriers, I also feel very humbled and so grateful.

He spoke again of playing football with the children of the villages and I smiled, warmed by the image. He spoke of the waiter who served him on camp,  A pharmacutical gratuate from India, working as a waiter in the british camp, serving the troops so politely, why?  So he can afford to put his two sons through university, it certainly put my struggle to support my children through university into perspective.

The young Iraqi marine in his training group, who had moved his wife and family from Baghdad to Basra, where she now taught. It all seems so normal and everyday, yet my heart knows their normal and everyday is a million miles apart from mine as I sit and write this.  It is a sobering thought, after all the only danger I will face as I go to work tommorrow is the hot head in a BMW who is too impatient to be a considerate driver, such is his urgency to get to work that nano second sooner,  I think I will just smile as he eventually sails past……( no sexism, carism intended )

These unknown, unmet people so far away are in my heart and thoughts tonight, cradled with gratitude and a wish for peace.  The spirit of their hospitality sat at my table as I listened to my son speak of them in a different time, different place over another meal.

I think I can just write this…through my tears of joy….my hands are still shaking in fact my whole body is shaking still…

About half an hour ago willing myself to go out in the rain, do that shop…I was just coming downstairs when I saw the door open and guess who walked in ….YES, YES, YES.

PATS HOME

I screamed, and grabbed him for that big hug, then sat on the stairs and just shook and cried, tears of joy and relief…. Pat on the other hand was so cool, so calm and collected but big smiles and big hugs…He looks so well, tanned and toned.. Now I do the big mamma thing and go shop and cook, celebratory drink first and got to  smoke a black and mild cigar, he insisted I try one…..Lol

Then time for sharing story

A day to remember, a moment to remember.

My heartfelt gratitude for all the of support that really mattered and  kept me looking in the right direction whilst he was away.  I just know it would not have been the same without your gifts

Love and hugs all round..

Im biased I know, but need to record for posterity just what a jewel this young lady is, the title of the song says the rest, and it comes from inside.  Rita works so hard and always has even from an early age, if something just simply needs to be done, she is always there and yet very much her own person.

Some 18 months ago she was a passenger in her friends car, when a bus driver failed  to see them and came out of a junction, causing a side impact.  Rita was speaking to me on her mobile phone at the moment of impact, so I heard all the commotion and concern including the fire crew cutting her out, as it was happening.  When I phoned the police with details and my concerns , they were able to get back and confirm there had been an accident, but couldnt confirm  immediately who had been involved. The wait for that confirmation felt like an eternity

 Luckily she escaped with a broken pelvis, shock and her 3 friends with minor cuts.  She was studying nursing at the time and failing an important exam, she was dropped from the course sadly, once she got out of hospital the thought of appealing the decision was just too much for her, despite her tutor saying she would back her fully as all her placement reports were excellent. Its still her wish to one day do pallitive nursing

She went on to work in a call centre six weeks after her accident and withing a short time has worked her way from answering the phones to deputy manager and recently gained promotion to manager.  It surprised her, but not me that her company bosses awarded her a 100% productivity bonus the other day

I would like to think she will one day fullfill her dream and be able to go back to her nursing studies, graduate and work in the field of her choice.

She is a blessing, but then Im her mum and biased lol

Todays post shows the picture I took in Bude of an anchor, for me it was powerful and symbolic.  Last night it came into my mind after Alan had gone home, just having had that birthday meal. ( food again lol)

Life has its negatives, but sometimes they serve to highlight the positives, the accompanying poem also came into my mind.  In some ways this is a belated birthday gift for Alan, amid other sentiments….Peace and contentment in there somewhere too..