I hadnt realised how easy it is to see war through eyes that see only weapons and destruction, my eyes these past 3 months if I am honest. Today my minds eye was stretched beyond this to the everyday lives of the people, men,women and children, not unlike myself.

Ordinary people sending their children to school, cooking doing their best to live life as normally as possible when their country has been invaded, as I cannot remember the Iraqi people asking for American nor British assistance or intervention

Joe being the chef in the family cooked tonight, Roast lamb, dressed with garlic and rosemary, new and roast potatoes, broccoli and the most delicious gravy I have ever tasted, beating his mothers by a mile.  I was asking Patrick what types of meat he had eaten during his tour and he mentioned trying goat, then went on to speak about the meals he often shared with the people of Iraq. 

He told me that when he was on border patrol, during stopovers in the villages, the troops would  be invited to share a meal, offered by the families.  All sat round on the floor eating chicken, rice etc from a big bowl placed in the centre.  Hospitality that I find so moving.  He added that this would often mean an upset tummy for a few days as it also meant drinking the local water instead of the bottled water he got on camp.

I have visions of a woman, with a heart not so different to my own, preparing the food that my son enjoyed, an act of friendship, communion that overcomes all language barriers, I also feel very humbled and so grateful.

He spoke again of playing football with the children of the villages and I smiled, warmed by the image. He spoke of the waiter who served him on camp,  A pharmacutical gratuate from India, working as a waiter in the british camp, serving the troops so politely, why?  So he can afford to put his two sons through university, it certainly put my struggle to support my children through university into perspective.

The young Iraqi marine in his training group, who had moved his wife and family from Baghdad to Basra, where she now taught. It all seems so normal and everyday, yet my heart knows their normal and everyday is a million miles apart from mine as I sit and write this.  It is a sobering thought, after all the only danger I will face as I go to work tommorrow is the hot head in a BMW who is too impatient to be a considerate driver, such is his urgency to get to work that nano second sooner,  I think I will just smile as he eventually sails past……( no sexism, carism intended )

These unknown, unmet people so far away are in my heart and thoughts tonight, cradled with gratitude and a wish for peace.  The spirit of their hospitality sat at my table as I listened to my son speak of them in a different time, different place over another meal.

I think I can just write this…through my tears of joy….my hands are still shaking in fact my whole body is shaking still…

About half an hour ago willing myself to go out in the rain, do that shop…I was just coming downstairs when I saw the door open and guess who walked in ….YES, YES, YES.

PATS HOME

I screamed, and grabbed him for that big hug, then sat on the stairs and just shook and cried, tears of joy and relief…. Pat on the other hand was so cool, so calm and collected but big smiles and big hugs…He looks so well, tanned and toned.. Now I do the big mamma thing and go shop and cook, celebratory drink first and got to  smoke a black and mild cigar, he insisted I try one…..Lol

Then time for sharing story

A day to remember, a moment to remember.

My heartfelt gratitude for all the of support that really mattered and  kept me looking in the right direction whilst he was away.  I just know it would not have been the same without your gifts

Love and hugs all round..

Im biased I know, but need to record for posterity just what a jewel this young lady is, the title of the song says the rest, and it comes from inside.  Rita works so hard and always has even from an early age, if something just simply needs to be done, she is always there and yet very much her own person.

Some 18 months ago she was a passenger in her friends car, when a bus driver failed  to see them and came out of a junction, causing a side impact.  Rita was speaking to me on her mobile phone at the moment of impact, so I heard all the commotion and concern including the fire crew cutting her out, as it was happening.  When I phoned the police with details and my concerns , they were able to get back and confirm there had been an accident, but couldnt confirm  immediately who had been involved. The wait for that confirmation felt like an eternity

 Luckily she escaped with a broken pelvis, shock and her 3 friends with minor cuts.  She was studying nursing at the time and failing an important exam, she was dropped from the course sadly, once she got out of hospital the thought of appealing the decision was just too much for her, despite her tutor saying she would back her fully as all her placement reports were excellent. Its still her wish to one day do pallitive nursing

She went on to work in a call centre six weeks after her accident and withing a short time has worked her way from answering the phones to deputy manager and recently gained promotion to manager.  It surprised her, but not me that her company bosses awarded her a 100% productivity bonus the other day

I would like to think she will one day fullfill her dream and be able to go back to her nursing studies, graduate and work in the field of her choice.

She is a blessing, but then Im her mum and biased lol

Todays post shows the picture I took in Bude of an anchor, for me it was powerful and symbolic.  Last night it came into my mind after Alan had gone home, just having had that birthday meal. ( food again lol)

Life has its negatives, but sometimes they serve to highlight the positives, the accompanying poem also came into my mind.  In some ways this is a belated birthday gift for Alan, amid other sentiments….Peace and contentment in there somewhere too..

 I dont know why but sea foam fascinates me, again I could have stayed here all day just watching the ebb and flow of the waves and the forming of the foam….simple pleasures all free..

The weather was a little kinder this day and we spent most of the day down by the sea in the sunshine.  Times like this I wish I had a stronger telephoto lens on my camera, as Cornwall without surfers well…

And ducks, I seem to have a thing for ducks if Im honest, I just adore the depth of colour of the males and these little ones almost look as if they have been superimposed on this picture I think.  In all there were about 10 ducklings in this little family

NEWS FLASH **** My daughter Rita has just been on the phone, she has scoured Bebo and by comments left on other Marines who are serving with Pat, through the Bebo pages and tickers, she has worked out that Pat is on his way home and could possibily arrive tommorrow or Monday, this said amid squeals of delight, now Im definitely gonna have to find that urge to clean and prepare….Im working till 10pm tommorrow oh gosh the excitement!!!!!! Mother abandoning post for room inspection and leaving you with the Dixie Chicks - not ready to make nice- written as a result of the backlash they experienced after a comment they made about George Bush in the land of freedom….. YOU GO GIRLS!!!

I went a wandering yesterday on the internet..Bebo to be precise, this is where all the young cool dudes hang out apparently. Laura insisted I get my page when she was a student in Warrington, another way of keeping in touch..Anyway the beauty of this was, I typed Royal Marines in Iraq and came across some Bebo pages of lads actually deployed out there with Patrick at the moment.  I copied some photos (as you can do that with Bebo) it was so good to see Pat in pictures working alongside his colleuges, they all look so fresh faced and very much together. 

Look what I found, I had to pinch myself and tell myself that was the same young man who left some 3 months ago.  He looks totally different in his combats and looks so fit and well. The second one was taken as they just before they went out on boat patrol.  Cant wait to see him home!!

Having enjoyed my wander I then went shopping for Alans present, it was his birthday yesterday. We had planned to go out and eat, however the honeymooners who had arrived back from Mexico the other day called round with his present just as we were about to leave. Lorraine and Mark also had the photographers website for veiwing the pictures of the wedding with them, so needless to say we enjoyed looking through the album. They all turned out really well.

I had picked up my mail in between all this and I have finally been given a date for the first hearing which will take place on July 19th.  I will be expected to go to this, which is a moment I have been dreading if Im honest. 

 Legal aid refused to even consider his appeal apparently and I was saddened to read this in his letter from his solicitor ‘ We are given to understand that our client has agreed to fund the rent and expenses of the parties child in London during the forthcoming year which will have a cost of approximately £ 20,ooo.  Incredible given that Simona is funded and merely required a little extra support so she would manage without having to work part time.  This is more than my annual wage, is this man for real!!!  or is this merely what I would call a Bush blunder.

There will be more of this where this came from without a doubt and having felt stuck for so long, not wanting to look back, but unsure of the future and  if it were all worth fighting for at times, I got a boost from the final image I looked at last night on Time and a Word ( thanks Stewart). 

As soon as I saw it I calmed and grounded, thoughts of the 19th of July entered my head and I realised this is a bridge, one I dread in some ways, yet waited so long for in other ways..It came as a wonderful image to symobize the journey I must make, and if I could pick the bridge it would be one as magnificant, beautiful and sturdy as the one I saw last night… FORCA

This started off as a duvet day, lay in bed listening to the rain and wind, caught Jeremy Kyle, Phil and Fearn and finally Loose Women which is a programme I truly enjoyed.. Headed for the shower, and by 3 o’clock the weather looked half decent and we headed off. Where to at the point of departure we didnt know, but after a drive around and a coastal walk this is where we ended up. 

The sun made an appearance for a couple of hours and this veiw point was one I really didnt want to leave, it was so peaceful, tranquil and isolated, its always good to find spaces like this in the busy, busy world and something I find very healing and soothing about them.

Yet even here there was the sense of history, tragedy, past events and sad story. From the viewpoint Im looking down at what little remains of what was once the Panamanian registered coaster The Johanna which came ashore less than 400metres from the lighthouse in the early hours of 31st December 1982. 4 crew members were rescued from RAF Chivenor and 3 officers were taken off later in the day by the Clovelly lifeboat. The ship was carrying wheat from Holland to Barry Island.. I should imagine it was a poignant end to the year for the crew, but thankful to be safe nontheless

The lighthouse itself was automated in 1984 and is now monitored and controlled from a centre in Harwich, Essex.  Little remains of the living quarters that housed the 4 keepers and their families other than traces of the foundations that were once their homes.  The lighthouse area is not accessable to the public as the cliff ledges are deemed as too dangerous… In the far background can be seen Lundy Island.

I really enjoyed the scenery, the walk and when Alan suggested we have a cuppa at the little wooden hut in the car park at the end of the walk I readily agreed…However on the menu were not the usual burgers, hot dogs etc, but home made soup with warm granary bread and YES!!! homemade sticky toffee pudding..How could I resist after all that walking.

I have to say the food was of a standard one would get in a good hotel, served hot and delicious, this was the best meal I had during my stay quality wise, amazing really given that this was a little wooden hut in the middle of nowhere

A delicious Cappucinno to finish, then back in the car just in time as minutes later the heavens opened. The scenery etched in my memory, well fed and happy

Ahhhhhhhh big sigh of contentment

Despite dismal weather most days Alan and I were determined not to let the wind and rain stop us from enjoying our time away. I even found myself laying in bed watching morning t.v. until near on noon, something I would never do at home, I must admit I found myself really enjoying it as the winds blew and the rain pitter pattered on the roof.  What I called my duvet days.

 This picture was taken in Port Issac on a day when the camera crews were filming scenes for the tv series Doc Martin. Ive not watched this as yet but will be tuning in to see if I can catch the episode they were filming here. What a life!!! it obviously takes so long to shoot a scene and to be honest it all looks so tedious and boring, I wouldnt swap jobs for the world. 

 I had to smile this morning as Laura,my daughter,who works for Gold Crest films in London was online saying, she was mingling with Jude Law and Jessica Simpson the other night, she is over at the Cannes film festival at the moment. Hardly competition given I was feet away from the great Martin Clunes..LOL….Back to reality

As you can imagine the narrow streets have to accomodate all the lights extra people standing around waiting to shoot a scene, this looks quite empty, but thats because all the traffic has to be controlled or stopped, it must be a real headache for the inhabitants of the town, but it obvoiusly creates some added revenue. We watched as they changed a shop door replacing it with a replica made of balsa wood and sugar glass, prior to this tractor speeding up the hill with stunt lady on the back, who then alights and runs straight through said glass door…All very exciting.

I had managed to take a picture of the young girl who had been made up to look like she had serious cuts and gashes to her face and hands, however I will spare you this horror..LOL and leave you with these lovely flowers that really brightened an otherwise dank and wet and windy day in Port Issac.

Gosh!!! Doesnt time fly, it doesnt seem like two weeks ago when everyone basked in sunshine, excited, smiling, waiting for the arrival of the bride.. and isnt she beautiful, as all brides are, radiant and happy with her Dad by her side. 

 The weather was perfect and Lorraine and Mark ( the happy couple) had picked a ceremony with a difference.  They had chosen a humanistic minister to perform the marraige ceremony, but it was so personal with the couple, writing their own vows, which was very moving and brought a lump to my throat and sitting behind Alan I could see him take a deep breathe and swallow hard. 

 We sang Bring me Sunshine, which I must admit took everyone by surprise given the association with Morcambe and Wise, yet everyone was swaying and really enjoying the moment, and the words perhaps say a lot about what we should bring one another through union.

Lorraine, Mark and the flower girls Nicole and Natasha and page boy Alex who really were stars and performed their duties with a real sense of ceremony. Beautiful couple, beautiful children and a beautiful setting

I sat with Alans brother and sister and family so it was a nice relaxing day, as you can see too much talking, not enough eating means I was last to finish as usual….Lol.  The food was kept simple and it was delicious…..every last mouthful.

There was a live group to entertain the wedding party, so lots of silly dancing, you know the Slush and the ones that find you down on the floor rowing imaginary boats to the blast of Hawai 50, not so easy to get back up off the floor after one too many glasses of champagne etc etc….But good fun non the less, lots of laughter into the early hours.

I have to admit to being one of the first to surrender to the call of that soft,soft pillow Im sure I heard call my name at around 3am….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz